Hunt, Gather, Parent
What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans
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The oldest cultures in the world have mastered the art of raising happy, well-adjusted children. What can we learn from them?
"Hunt, Gather, Parent is full of smart ideas that I immediately wanted to force on my own kids." —Pamela Druckerman, The New York Times Book Review
When Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff becomes a mother, she examines the studies behind modern parenting guidance and finds the evidence frustratingly limited and often ineffective. Curious to learn about more effective parenting approaches, she visits a Maya village in the Yucatán Peninsula. There she encounters moms and dads who parent in a totally different way than we do—and raise extraordinarily kind, generous, and helpful children without yelling, nagging, or issuing timeouts. What else, Doucleff wonders, are Western parents missing out on?
In Hunt, Gather, Parent, Doucleff sets out with her three-year-old daughter in tow to learn and practice parenting strategies from families in three of the world's most venerable communities: Maya families in Mexico, Inuit families above the Arctic Circle, and Hadzabe families in Tanzania. She sees that these cultures don't have the same problems with children that Western parents do. Most strikingly, parents build a relationship with young children that is vastly different from the one many Western parents develop—it's built on cooperation instead of control, trust instead of fear, and personalized needs instead of standardized development milestones.
Maya parents are masters at raising cooperative children. Without resorting to bribes, threats, or chore charts, Maya parents rear loyal helpers by including kids in household tasks from the time they can walk. Inuit parents have developed a remarkably effective approach for teaching children emotional intelligence. When kids cry, hit, or act out, Inuit parents respond with a calm, gentle demeanor that teaches children how to settle themselves down and think before acting. Hadzabe parents are experts on raising confident, self-driven kids with a simple tool that protects children from stress and anxiety, so common now among American kids.
Not only does Doucleff live with families and observe their methods firsthand, she also applies them with her own daughter, with striking results. She learns to discipline without yelling. She talks to psychologists, neuroscientists, anthropologists, and sociologists and explains how these strategies can impact children's mental health and development. Filled with practical takeaways that parents can implement immediately, Hunt, Gather, Parent helps us rethink the ways we relate to our children, and reveals a universal parenting paradigm adapted for American families.
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Creators
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Publisher
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Release date
March 2, 2021 -
Formats
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Kindle Book
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OverDrive Read
- ISBN: 9781982149697
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EPUB ebook
- ISBN: 9781982149697
- File size: 14076 KB
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Languages
- English
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Reviews
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May 1, 2021
Time-tested parenting methods from three Indigenous cultures help a mother tame her wild toddler. Doucleff knew there had to be a better way to parent her child, one that didn't result in Rosy's hitting, screaming, and throwing temper tantrums, where every day wasn't a battle from morning to night. Using the investigative skills she has honed as a correspondent for NPR's Science Desk, she traveled to the Yucat�n to live with a Mayan family, the Arctic to spend time with an Inuit family, and Tanzania and the Hadzabe tribe to understand how other cultures raised helpful, independent, disciplined children without unnecessary drama and frustration. Doucleff shares the tips and tricks she learned along the way and includes with each chapter a distilled list of insights that can be quickly referenced when the need arises. For example, she explains how to deescalate a situation by remaining calm and instilling awe and how having a child help with chores at a young age may create more work at first but gives the child the chance to learn and assume responsibilities that help the family. Also, when a child understands the consequences of her actions, she is less likely to misbehave than if she only hears the words no or don't. Of course, the author recommends outdoor time, emphasizes the power of stories to teach lessons, and shows why it's important to let children speak for themselves. Doucleff, who has a doctorate in chemistry, interweaves scientific research and her own trials with Rosy into the information she learned from the Mayans, Inuits, and Hadzabe. The result is an intriguing study that should be useful to parents from any culture, especially those who are at their wits' end with their rambunctious, untamed children. Eye-opening looks at how ancient techniques can benefit modern parents.COPYRIGHT(2021) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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May 21, 2021
This entertaining and eye-opening look at child-rearing from NPR science reporter Doucleff turns several current parenting trends on their heads. Writing with wit and authority, Doucleff explains how various western theories first came into practice and details how these approaches vary from those in much of the rest of the world. In comparison, Doucleff cites practices that spring from three Indigenous cultures, in their modern iterations: the Mayan concept of helpfulness; the calmness inherent in Inuit society, and the autonomy nurtured by the Hadzabe people of Tanzania. Doucleff offers her own daughter, Rosie, as a test subject. Rosie, a typical strong-willed, vocal, and highly opinionated toddler, accompanied Doucleff on her fact-finding trips, resulting in several anecdotes describing the improvements in Rosie's behavior after the introduction of various hunter-gatherer strategies. Many chapters provide reasonable plans for phasing these same strategies into common American household routines, along with suggestions on how to defuse contentious situations, helpfully sorted according to age group. Doucleff's tone is often breezy, but she acknowledges the real need for help, citing the isolation and even desperation many parents feel. This is practical advice backed up by field research and hands-on parenting, in other words, just what house-bound families need.COPYRIGHT(2021) Booklist, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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