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Life Without a Recipe

A Memoir

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available

A "bold, luscious" memoir, "indispensable to anyone trying to forge their own truer path" (Ruth Reichl).

On one side, there is Grace: prize-winning author Diana Abu-Jaber's tough, independent sugar-fiend of a German grandmother, wielding a suitcase full of holiday cookies. On the other, Bud: a flamboyant, spice-obsessed Arab father, full of passionate argument. The two could not agree on anything: not about food, work, or especially about what Diana should do with her life. Grace warned her away from children. Bud wanted her married above all—even if he had to provide the ring. Caught between cultures and lavished with contradictory "advice" from both sides of her family, Diana spent years learning how to ignore others' well-intentioned prescriptions.

Hilarious, gorgeously written, poignant, and wise, Life Without a Recipe is Diana's celebration of journeying without a map, of learning to ignore the script and improvise, of escaping family and making family on one's own terms. As Diana discovers, however, building confidence in one's own path sometimes takes a mistaken marriage or two—or in her case, three: to a longhaired boy-poet, to a dashing deconstructionist literary scholar, and finally to her steadfast, outdoors-loving Scott. It also takes a good deal of angst (was it possible to have a serious writing career and be a mother?) and, even when she knew what she wanted (the craziest thing, in one's late forties: a baby!), the nerve to pursue it.

Finally, fearlessly independent like the Grace she's named after, Diana and Scott's daughter Gracie will heal all the old battles with Bud and, like her writer-mom, learn to cook up a life without a recipe.

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    • Booklist

      February 1, 2016
      All grudges are softened by the approach of dinner, Arab American novelist Abu-Jaber (Birds of Paradise, 2011) writes in her second food-oriented memoir, following The Language of Baklava (2005). And in a family like hers, dinner can't come soon enough. With a tenderness that never dips into nostalgia, Abu-Jaber weaves together the stories of those closest to her: a gregarious and food-obsessed Jordanian father, a German grandmother who trusts sugar and flour but remains suspicious of men, three husbands, one treasured daughter, and many friends and relatives. In ostensibly a memoir of food and family, it is the family, rather than the food, that steals the show. She describes her relationships with wonderful levity, but Abu-Jaber also allows space for complexity, conflict, and uncertainty. She offers us an intimate seat at her family table as we watch her learn to navigate life on her own terms, from a young girl to an adult struggling to balance her independence with the needs of her multicultural family. Abu-Jaber renders her relationships to both food and family in rich, joyful detail.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2016, American Library Association.)

    • Kirkus

      February 15, 2016
      An award-winning novelist tells the deliciously candid story of her unconventional path to motherhood. Abu-Jaber (Birds of Paradise, 2011, etc.) grew up between the polarities of two strong personalities: that of her Arab father, Bud, on the one hand, and her maternal grandmother, Grace, on the other. Adversaries who also happened to agree on many things, they fought for the author's attention through food: where Bud delighted with his spicy meat dishes, Grace tempted with her divine cakes and cookies. The struggle also centered around their desires for Abu-Jaber's life, with Bud demanding that she wed as soon as she was old enough and her grandmother warning that romance was "lie" and marriage and babies were "for women who [couldn't] do much else." Abu-Jaber, however, was determined to create her own life recipe, which proved harder than she imagined. Straight out of college, she married a man who was more convenience than lover and whom she divorced less than a year later. Secretly enchanted by "the idea of marriage," she wed again in graduate school, this time to an intellectual for whom she felt no passion. In the midst of personal turmoil, her career thrived, but it wasn't until her mid-30s that she finally settled into a relationship that satisfied her desires rather than those instilled by Bud and Grace. A decade later, Abu-Jaber suddenly found herself wanting to adopt a child, whom she named in honor of the woman who warned her against motherhood. Strong-willed yet tender, Gracie not only taught the author lessons in patience, giving, and self-acceptance. She also became the unexpected apple of Bud's baby boy-coveting eye and the missing ingredient in an intergenerational recipe for family harmony. Generously seasoned by an abiding love of food and a keen eye for the nuances of human relationships, this book is a reminder that however unpredictable it may be, life is a dish to be savored. A delectably warm and wise memoir.

      COPYRIGHT(2016) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

    • Library Journal

      November 15, 2015

      Award-winning novelist Abu-Jaber (Crescent) has also given us the luscious memoir The Language of Baklava. Here she continues wrapping her discussion of love and identity in the scent of good cooking as she describes being caught between her German, sugar-loving grandmother and Jordanian, spice-loving father, particularly on the issue of children. In the end, she has little Gracie.

      Copyright 2015 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

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